Focusing on the Positives

I woke up this morning with a third pimple on my right cheek. This is the cheek that was completely clear about a month ago before my last update. Obviously, I felt a little defeated. But as I was getting ready for the day, I took a closer look in the mirror. My face tells the story- it’s clearer than when I started this journey. So my acne isn’t completely cleared up, but it’s better than at the beginning. I started to take an inventory of the positives.

Here’s my list:

1. I still have some acne on my cheeks, but I can’t remember the last time I had a breakout on my chin or the area above my lips. Both of these places have been a constant source of breakouts for me since my teen years just about.
2. As I’ve mentioned before, I struggled with folliculitis on my scalp before starting Accutane, and that has COMPLETELY cleared up. I haven’t really had issues with the folliculitis since shortly after starting the Accutane. I mentioned it to my hairstylist last time I went in for a trim, and she said she noticed it was clear. This has always been a source of stress and anxiety for me going to get my hair cut. What if my stylist thinks I’m dirty or contagious? No more worries there!
3. I haven’t mentioned this in my blog before, but I also have another skin condition called hidradenitis suppurativa. I’m not sure if this is a separate condition that I’ve had over the years or if I got it as a side effect of some of the medications I’m on for ulcerative colitis. Either way, I’ve suffered with it for almost ten years, and it’s embarrassing and painful. There have been many days where I’ve felt like Job from the Bible, covered in boils and sitting in ashes. But, it has also gotten much better on the Accutane. This is such a huge victory. Maybe even more so than the acne on my face clearing up.
4. On my last update, I mentioned the bloody nose issue. I’ve been able to breathe through my nose the last few nights, and I’ve gotten good, quality sleep for the first time since the dry nose started.

Is everything going perfectly on my journey? Is it how I expected it to be? Absolutely not. I thought I would have one month of bad acne, and by month two I would have completely clear skin. But that’s life. It’s not all unicorns and rainbows. I have to remind myself to focus on the positives, and when I take my inventory, it turns out there’s actually quite a few things to be positive about. I haven’t even listed all of them (shout out to my amazing husband who has to listen to me rant when I’m feeling like it’s not all going according to plan). See you all in a couple weeks when I go in for my four month appointment. I’ll update then.